The topic of my self-confidence has been a life-long struggle thus far. I am only just beginning to understand the source of true confidence. The turning point in my life was the realization that my parenting skills were deficient, that things just weren't working out and I was desperate for some good advice. I felt like I was failing at parenthood and was without hope. I felt I was willing to read any book, attend any seminar; I was ready to be taught, realizing my knowledge and skills were not enough.
Perhaps the family culture in which I grew up fostered a perfectionistic attitude. Perhaps it was simply built into my psyche. I was the kid who felt that because he was getting high grades in school, he was worth something. Because he wasn't going to the principal's office, he was ok. If you won soccer games, you were ok. If people laughed at your jokes, you were ok. If you were accepted by the popular crowd, you were ok. If you had a girlfriend, you were ok.
I have spent my life building up my self-confidence with material "where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal" (Matt 6:19) wondering why I continued to feel unhappy. As much as we admire another fellow brother or sister on this planet, we are still all human. We have no right to expect that someone else will not make mistakes. So for us to leech on to someone else's enthusiasm is quite risky. Ever hear the phrase, "If Mom ain't happy, nobody is happy"?
Let's say that I'm the world's greatest athlete (which I am far from!) and I win at pretty much every sport I put my hand to. At the end of each victory, I receive accolades, money, fame. Eventually, the day closes, I go to sleep and I wake up the next day. The recognition staunches to a trickle and I find myself looking for the next pursuit to prove my worth. Don't get me wrong; to be in the pursuit of excellence is a good thing, but perhaps more important is the motive behind the desire.
The changing point in my life was preceded by a visit to a social therapist. We talked about the burdens that I carry around. What images come to my mind when I think of them? What color are they? I was encouraged to expose those feelings to the light, to make them as public as possible. Then I was asked to hand over those slime-covered objects I held onto so tightly to the Lord, to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I found myself quite resistant at first. I don't want to soil my Savior's clothes or his perfect hands.
Have you ever been treated to a dinner at a fancy restaurant where the food is brought out in display fashion? It's a work of art. Then you are served the food to eat. Wouldn't it seem silly to refuse to eat because you feel it serves a greater purpose as art than to nourish your body? The Savior has suffered greatly for every one of God's children, for you and me. Whether you believe in Christ or not, he has made that sacrifice so we can be forgiven of our sins. That gift is just that -- a gift. Christ will not force the atonement on our lives, but He invites us to accept that gift and use it to cleanse ourselves from sin.
I am a child of God. You are a child of God. And He loves us very much. He is perfect. That immutable fact is a solid foundation for us to build our self-confidence on. If we daily seek out the assurance of God's love for us, we will have what's necessary to build our self-confidence. Personal self-confidence leads to being more accepting of those around us, having greater patience, feeling more direction in life. We spend less time with self-absorbed comparison and more time seeking to help others around us. If our needs are met, we are in a better position to pour out the milk of happiness over our fellowmen.
One of the first steps I made to greater self-confidence and happiness was to throw away the thought that I have to prove to anyone that I have value. I have value, we all have value, because we are children of God. Period. With that value firmly in place, I care more about doing the right thing because my Father in Heaven wishes it. And while I care about my family, friends and those around me, I don't allow my wandering thoughts about what I think others think about me to form a shaky foundation for my self-confidence. I cherish and rejoice in the day I realized this precious truth and I say, "God bless it!"
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:N Krotik Ct,Atwater,United States
No comments:
Post a Comment