5/30/2007 (4:06 AM 5/31/2007)
JE is doing a great job with morning schedule. Going outside and to the parks is a great way to reach out to the kids and build better relationships. They love being outside. It appears that they are rather starved of being outside because that's where they would rather be.
After lunch is typically the 'burning hours' of the day. JE has been frustrated because quiet time lasts 45 minutes if she's lucky. That's not enough time for a mom (or any parent) to rejuvenate. I suggested to her that a mandatory 'inside time' be enforced from lunchtime until 3pm.
The only trick is MC who seems to have a strong-willed, impulsive personality. It's hard to tell if our discipline is getting through his 3.5 year old brain. JE and I's fear is that he escapes the house while JE is napping and put's himself in harm's way. Do we lock him in a room with lots of toys? Done that already... he simply satisfies his curiosity by taking apart the toys, books, whatever. Do we declare movie time during those hours? Mom needs a break and MC is always trying to roam away from the house. It's going to take some creativity to solve this one.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
rubber meets the road
10:13 PM 5/29/2007
Since it's not a good idea to change everything at once, we've taken the approach of selecting priorities. Currently, we are focusing on relationships.
Sure, we want to eliminate the contention in our home, we want to be helping our children get to the 'Love of Learning' stage of TJ Ed, and we want JP to eat his spaghetti without slurping loudly, but we need to go about change in a smart way.
Recently, I came to my wits end and told JE that I needed help being a parent. Upon a recommendation, we got "Let's Fix the Kids," which is really all about fixing the parents. Great program and it's very engaging to listen to. I tend to be right-brained about things and this program (set of CDs) really spoke to me. Much of what I learned there is taught in the TJ Ed methodology. TJ Ed frames the principles, however, from an education perspective. What I recently discovered was I was applying principles in a half-hearted way. Without a good heart, applying the principles ends up being like putting on band-aids for a wound that needs stitches.
With heart being the key, we are focusing on our relationships with our children. Sure there's still school, church responsibilities, and other matters to deal with, but our focus is on our children.
Today: JE held a devotional (during breakfast) to set the tone for the day. Then there was a trip to the park and some shopping that lasted until ~2pm. JE was tuckered out and the kids were still full of energy, however RE slept for a good 2 hours. When I got home, we had dinner and then we went outside to do some yard work. The kids (especially MC) love being outside. I can tell it's going to take some creativity to involve the kids in an engaging way. I started weeding the garden with JA; she didn't have any gloves so she didn't work with me for very long. MC spent his time watering... everything. He does have a fascination with water. TD worked on the bald patches in the grass; perhaps I should have stopped what I was doing and spent my time helping him. After all, the main purpose isn't really the yard work; it's building relationships with my children.
The sun started setting and we gathered the tools. TD wiped his muddy shoes all over the front door mat, the porce and the sidewalk. We're in the middle of selling our home right now and image is still a factor. I calmly took 5 minutes to wash it all down while the mud was still wet. I gathered the weeds back in the bucket that MC had dumped earlier when I wasn't looking. There's no need to get upset over that when we're focusing in on positive memories with our kids. Then comes my favorite part: family reading time. We read until the kids get tired and want to go to bed. Ok, they still have lots of energy, but the time we spend with them during that time has a lot of good. We let them choose the books they want to read and we have a supply of graham cookies on hand. TD and JP get out a paper and pencil and draw while JE or I read. Sometimes the two even do the reading themselves.
Our goal for the next 3 weeks is to strengthen and build the relationships we have with our kids. So far, so good.
Since it's not a good idea to change everything at once, we've taken the approach of selecting priorities. Currently, we are focusing on relationships.
Sure, we want to eliminate the contention in our home, we want to be helping our children get to the 'Love of Learning' stage of TJ Ed, and we want JP to eat his spaghetti without slurping loudly, but we need to go about change in a smart way.
Recently, I came to my wits end and told JE that I needed help being a parent. Upon a recommendation, we got "Let's Fix the Kids," which is really all about fixing the parents. Great program and it's very engaging to listen to. I tend to be right-brained about things and this program (set of CDs) really spoke to me. Much of what I learned there is taught in the TJ Ed methodology. TJ Ed frames the principles, however, from an education perspective. What I recently discovered was I was applying principles in a half-hearted way. Without a good heart, applying the principles ends up being like putting on band-aids for a wound that needs stitches.
With heart being the key, we are focusing on our relationships with our children. Sure there's still school, church responsibilities, and other matters to deal with, but our focus is on our children.
Today: JE held a devotional (during breakfast) to set the tone for the day. Then there was a trip to the park and some shopping that lasted until ~2pm. JE was tuckered out and the kids were still full of energy, however RE slept for a good 2 hours. When I got home, we had dinner and then we went outside to do some yard work. The kids (especially MC) love being outside. I can tell it's going to take some creativity to involve the kids in an engaging way. I started weeding the garden with JA; she didn't have any gloves so she didn't work with me for very long. MC spent his time watering... everything. He does have a fascination with water. TD worked on the bald patches in the grass; perhaps I should have stopped what I was doing and spent my time helping him. After all, the main purpose isn't really the yard work; it's building relationships with my children.
The sun started setting and we gathered the tools. TD wiped his muddy shoes all over the front door mat, the porce and the sidewalk. We're in the middle of selling our home right now and image is still a factor. I calmly took 5 minutes to wash it all down while the mud was still wet. I gathered the weeds back in the bucket that MC had dumped earlier when I wasn't looking. There's no need to get upset over that when we're focusing in on positive memories with our kids. Then comes my favorite part: family reading time. We read until the kids get tired and want to go to bed. Ok, they still have lots of energy, but the time we spend with them during that time has a lot of good. We let them choose the books they want to read and we have a supply of graham cookies on hand. TD and JP get out a paper and pencil and draw while JE or I read. Sometimes the two even do the reading themselves.
Our goal for the next 3 weeks is to strengthen and build the relationships we have with our kids. So far, so good.
Monday, May 28, 2007
back to reality
8:39 PM 5/28/2007
Returned from home school conference. It was fabulous. We came home with a greater realization that home-schooling is for our children. We have some good friends who told us, "the conference was wonderful; now we know that we will not be using the Thomas Jefferson Education (TJ Ed) method." Let it be known (and we are not the first) that the TJ Ed method isn't for everyone and it's not necessarily better than the conventional conveyor belt method most often used in the public school systems around the country. It is simply a tool used to educate.
I still remember when JE and I first felt that we should home school our son. His first experience with public school seemed to go well; his and our memories of his kindergarten year and first year of elementary education was really good. His second year was different. About a week after he started second grade, he started manifesting tics, gestures and mannerisms that indicated his heightened stress in general. He would randomly start pulling at the neck of his shirt over to his shoulder, cleared his throat every 5 seconds, twitch his head toward his shoulder at random. I witnessed this one day when we were walking home from the bus stop. I almost cried as I watched him twitch and grunt all the way home.
Then there was the night when JE and I woke up to a scream from TD's room. We rushed in and found him gasping for breath. We were both scared, not knowing what to do. We took him to the emergency room and after waiting 5 hours, we were told he was throwing a temper tantrum. JE and I came to a different conclusion -- TD was experiencing an anxiety attack.
Following our conclusions, we attempted to work with the public school on this. We took TD to a neurologist who diagnosed TD with Tourette's Syndrome. We were told that we could create a contract that would do things like prevent a teacher from correcting our son's papers in red ink. That just didn't seem right to me to offer a band-aid to fix the problem and it didn't leave JE and I in any better situation to help TD. The teacher said she would be more sensitive to TD. The tics continued and we visited with the principal and teacher again. The option of putting TD in a class with severely mentally-challenged children was offered, but that was not what TD needed and my wife and I knew it.
At that point, we started seriously considering the option of home school, an option that would leave JE and I in control of our son's education.
Returned from home school conference. It was fabulous. We came home with a greater realization that home-schooling is for our children. We have some good friends who told us, "the conference was wonderful; now we know that we will not be using the Thomas Jefferson Education (TJ Ed) method." Let it be known (and we are not the first) that the TJ Ed method isn't for everyone and it's not necessarily better than the conventional conveyor belt method most often used in the public school systems around the country. It is simply a tool used to educate.
I still remember when JE and I first felt that we should home school our son. His first experience with public school seemed to go well; his and our memories of his kindergarten year and first year of elementary education was really good. His second year was different. About a week after he started second grade, he started manifesting tics, gestures and mannerisms that indicated his heightened stress in general. He would randomly start pulling at the neck of his shirt over to his shoulder, cleared his throat every 5 seconds, twitch his head toward his shoulder at random. I witnessed this one day when we were walking home from the bus stop. I almost cried as I watched him twitch and grunt all the way home.
Then there was the night when JE and I woke up to a scream from TD's room. We rushed in and found him gasping for breath. We were both scared, not knowing what to do. We took him to the emergency room and after waiting 5 hours, we were told he was throwing a temper tantrum. JE and I came to a different conclusion -- TD was experiencing an anxiety attack.
Following our conclusions, we attempted to work with the public school on this. We took TD to a neurologist who diagnosed TD with Tourette's Syndrome. We were told that we could create a contract that would do things like prevent a teacher from correcting our son's papers in red ink. That just didn't seem right to me to offer a band-aid to fix the problem and it didn't leave JE and I in any better situation to help TD. The teacher said she would be more sensitive to TD. The tics continued and we visited with the principal and teacher again. The option of putting TD in a class with severely mentally-challenged children was offered, but that was not what TD needed and my wife and I knew it.
At that point, we started seriously considering the option of home school, an option that would leave JE and I in control of our son's education.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
a great vacation
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Wow; it's been a great vacation. 6 days without the kids... it's probably a first for us in our married lives. Last night JE and I wept as MC spoke to us, asking us when he was going to see us again. For a moment, I thought JE was going to ask me to cut our trip short. We do miss them so much. We also value the boost to our relationship that this trip has given JE and I.
There has also been value to our rest. We've enjoyed coming home and simply laying in bed, reading some books or watching a movie. Our vacation has not been without work, however. The impetus for our visit to Buena Vista, VA has been to attend this year's LDS Eastern Home School conference. It has been wonderful attending this 3 day conference, learning how to improve teaching our children. We have also learned how to be better parents and a better couple. We are excited to implement the things we have learned.
JE and I are using what has been called the Thomas Jefferson Education system. One way to describe its implementation is to talk in terms of parent/child responsibility. Parents are responsible to cultivate relationships, create inspiring environments and be prepared to appropriately respond. The Thomas Jefferson Education system provides much insight into how this is accomplished. The child's responsibility is to educate themselves from the environment created by the parent. Ultimately, children will become scholars, truly educating themselves, however, a young child will not be prepared to do this, so parents select items from a good curriculum and then allow the child to select which of those items to pursue and the pace at which they will educate themselves.
This is a radical shift from many of the public education systems today which dictate what a child learns and a time frame in which to learn it.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
It is so beautiful around here. There have been several times that I've fancied how wonderful it would be to live around here. I'd just have to find a job that would support my family. Buena Vista, VA appears to be in a valley in the Blue Ridge mountains. Looking around one can witness several layers of mountains, each a different shade of blue. I feel inspired to simplify my life so that I can more often enjoy the creations of our Heavenly Father.
We spent time at Montecello yesterday, Thomas Jefferson's home. Throughout the conference, many speakers refered to Thomas Jefferson and his life and the difference he made in this country. I felt impressed of the importance for me to know our fore fathers, to understand what they went through and what exactly they did so that I can enjoy a rich life in a country that provides the means to live the Gospel as Heavenly Father would want his children to. These men were not perfect, but I feel their desires were pure and they did the best they could, God filling in the missing parts with what some would call good fortune. As a citizen of the United States, I feel a responsibility and desire to know more about these men and what they did.
It's evening now. JE and I have really enjoyed these past 5 days; the time has been very theraputic. We spent some time thinking about what we learned during the conference and how we will apply it in our home. First and foremost, we will be working on the relationships we have with our children, with each other and with Heavenly Father. We attended church with the Buena Vista ward, all three hours. It turns out that one of my previous BYU CS professors is the bishop of that ward, Bishop Whitehurst. Then we rested when we got back to the hotel. Later on, we ate dinner and took a swim. It turns out that our 72 hour kits were quite old; even the fruit juice tasted firmented, so we went to Ruby Tuesdays.
I spent a good chunk of the afternoon finishing Harry Potter (book 6). I have been able to put so much time into reading while we've been here. My next book will most likely be a biography of Thomas Jefferson that we bought when we visited Montecello yesterday. I'm looking forward to my personal quest to learn more about the history of our country.
I am ready to get back home so we can be with our children again. The break has been nice, and it's been just about the right length of time. JE and I have received advice regarding our relationship. We will start setting aside 1 week a year to take a vacation without the kids and three other times during the year to take off for the weekend. I can see how it helps JE and I to bond closer and to get a larger perspective on how things are going with our family and with life.
Wow; it's been a great vacation. 6 days without the kids... it's probably a first for us in our married lives. Last night JE and I wept as MC spoke to us, asking us when he was going to see us again. For a moment, I thought JE was going to ask me to cut our trip short. We do miss them so much. We also value the boost to our relationship that this trip has given JE and I.
There has also been value to our rest. We've enjoyed coming home and simply laying in bed, reading some books or watching a movie. Our vacation has not been without work, however. The impetus for our visit to Buena Vista, VA has been to attend this year's LDS Eastern Home School conference. It has been wonderful attending this 3 day conference, learning how to improve teaching our children. We have also learned how to be better parents and a better couple. We are excited to implement the things we have learned.
JE and I are using what has been called the Thomas Jefferson Education system. One way to describe its implementation is to talk in terms of parent/child responsibility. Parents are responsible to cultivate relationships, create inspiring environments and be prepared to appropriately respond. The Thomas Jefferson Education system provides much insight into how this is accomplished. The child's responsibility is to educate themselves from the environment created by the parent. Ultimately, children will become scholars, truly educating themselves, however, a young child will not be prepared to do this, so parents select items from a good curriculum and then allow the child to select which of those items to pursue and the pace at which they will educate themselves.
This is a radical shift from many of the public education systems today which dictate what a child learns and a time frame in which to learn it.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
It is so beautiful around here. There have been several times that I've fancied how wonderful it would be to live around here. I'd just have to find a job that would support my family. Buena Vista, VA appears to be in a valley in the Blue Ridge mountains. Looking around one can witness several layers of mountains, each a different shade of blue. I feel inspired to simplify my life so that I can more often enjoy the creations of our Heavenly Father.
We spent time at Montecello yesterday, Thomas Jefferson's home. Throughout the conference, many speakers refered to Thomas Jefferson and his life and the difference he made in this country. I felt impressed of the importance for me to know our fore fathers, to understand what they went through and what exactly they did so that I can enjoy a rich life in a country that provides the means to live the Gospel as Heavenly Father would want his children to. These men were not perfect, but I feel their desires were pure and they did the best they could, God filling in the missing parts with what some would call good fortune. As a citizen of the United States, I feel a responsibility and desire to know more about these men and what they did.
It's evening now. JE and I have really enjoyed these past 5 days; the time has been very theraputic. We spent some time thinking about what we learned during the conference and how we will apply it in our home. First and foremost, we will be working on the relationships we have with our children, with each other and with Heavenly Father. We attended church with the Buena Vista ward, all three hours. It turns out that one of my previous BYU CS professors is the bishop of that ward, Bishop Whitehurst. Then we rested when we got back to the hotel. Later on, we ate dinner and took a swim. It turns out that our 72 hour kits were quite old; even the fruit juice tasted firmented, so we went to Ruby Tuesdays.
I spent a good chunk of the afternoon finishing Harry Potter (book 6). I have been able to put so much time into reading while we've been here. My next book will most likely be a biography of Thomas Jefferson that we bought when we visited Montecello yesterday. I'm looking forward to my personal quest to learn more about the history of our country.
I am ready to get back home so we can be with our children again. The break has been nice, and it's been just about the right length of time. JE and I have received advice regarding our relationship. We will start setting aside 1 week a year to take a vacation without the kids and three other times during the year to take off for the weekend. I can see how it helps JE and I to bond closer and to get a larger perspective on how things are going with our family and with life.
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